Let's Speak Thai No. 1: At the restaurant

"NUMBER 26 WITH FRIED RICE, PLEASE?"

No, it doesn't really work like that. Northern Thailand is known for its exquisite range of mouth watering dishes - and a sprinkling of Thai language and a dash of adventurous spirit are YOUR ingredients for a rewarding culinary experience, explains Samantha Burman.

A Thai restaurant can pose frustrations for the visitor. I have often overheard groups of westerners complain bitterly that their different orders were served at different times, or that they did not receive the dish they had ordered. A little understanding of the culture - and ways in which you can deal with these potential frustrations - can ensure that you leave the restaurant full and satisfied.

I once watched a young Thai man ordering a mixed fruit ice-cream in a restaurant, Some while later, the waitress produced 10 bowls of ice cream, each with a different fruit flavour!! Yes, Thais can get it wrong too! He and his friends, rather than making the waitress 'lose face', had a good laugh and shared the ice-cream.

The lessons to learn are simple: if you complain, somebody will lose face (and you will not gain any Thai respect); secondly, laugh at the mistake and politely ask the waiter/ress to change the dish for the one you actually ordered; thirdly, pick up an attitude central to Thai thinking. My pen rye (never mind, it doesn't matter). If you can shrug off the mistake - but you really don't want the dish which has been delivered - then nobody will be offended.

An offended waiter/ress can store bags of tricks up their sleeves to let you know you have lost their respect. I was with a western group when one of our number complained that he had to pay for the bottled water - when he had been used to eating in restaurants with free jugs of water on the table (which, incidentally, is perfectly safe boiled water). The waitress lost face and made him wait an extra 20 minutes for his food, by which time, everyone else had finished eating.

Thai people also respect visitors who have jye yen yen (cool hearts) so always remember, even when you have a genuine complaint, stay cool, do not get angry. You are only showing you are a weak person who cannot control your emotions. If you have waited an hour for your food, ask what the delay is and politely tell the waiter/ress you have an appointment in 20 minutes. That should produce quick results!

The Thai style of eating is very different to that in the west. People will sit around a table or - more commonly at home - on a mat on the floor. The dishes are usually cooked individually and will be placed in the centre when ready. People will take small spoonfuls of food from the shared dishes, which are then eaten with their individual plate of rice. More dishes will appear as the meal progresses, but everyone will start to eat as soon as one or two dishes are set down. There will be many dishes and the whole occasion is a highly communal affair.

Having understood and overcome several of the cultural frustrations, don't forget that Thailand is famous for its variety of rich, spicy food. It might be as well to know a few words which indicate what you do and do not like, to avoid the risk of being served food you cannot eat. The key words you need to know are aharn jay (vegetarian food), aroy (delicious) and pet (hot or spicy). To tell someone you really like the food, say "aroy mark" (very delicious).

Thai food is well known for its liberal use of hot chillies and Thais will be pleased if you like your food pet - or pet mark (very hot). You might be asked if you chawp (like) your food pet and if you can't cope with the fiery burn in your mouth then just say "my pet" (not hot)!

And tipping? A modest tip if you are really impressed will be very welcome, but never feel you have to do it!

Phrases

Kor bia song khuat: Two beers please

Gin pet my die: I cannot eat hot/spicy food

Gin pet die nit noy: I can eat slightly spicy food

Mee aharn jay my?: Do you have vegetarian food?

Kip tang?: Can I have the bill please?

Popular dishes

Tom Yam: Spicy Soup with herbs

Pat pak ruam: Mixed fried vegetables with chicken or pork

Pat Thai: Thai style noodles

Pat pak grapow (kai dow): Chicken or pork with basil (plus a fried egg on top)

Geng kee-o-wahn: Green Curry (mild curry with coconut sauce)

Gairong Pet: Red Curry (hot, spicy curry with coconut sauce)

Kai Yad Sye: Thai style stuffed omelette (usually with chicken or pork)

Cow pat guy: Chicken fried rice

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